Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
