well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize