he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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