apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
