Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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