you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
