i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize