Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
