is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
