I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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