You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
