Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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