when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
