3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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