i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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