I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I could fuck to npr.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
