god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
More tranny stories later!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
