i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
