you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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