mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
