My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
