Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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