Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
