If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize