I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
