wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
