She's JV to your varsity
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
