im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
