Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize