I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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