I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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