Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If its not for food we ain't going out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
