I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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