Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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