I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
