u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize