i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
