I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
