i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
