And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
