therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
