Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize