I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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