I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize