my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
