You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
