Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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