sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
