He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
