Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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