Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
