i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
