Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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