that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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