3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize