Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
