Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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