margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
