I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize