super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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