grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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