I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
