That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
