At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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