I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
