Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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