you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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