The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need water and some morals
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
