Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
two words...techno handjob
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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