I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize