Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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